Alive and Well
by Wanderingcourier
Summary: Being gay is sort of crappy when you live in a rural town. Kiku is unfortunate enough to experience this first hand. Gilbert, among other things, isn't really helping. Prupan, hurt with eventual comfort. Updates on the first day of every month.
1. Prologue

**Warning: Possible trigger words (Homophobic). I mean no offense by any of this. Also, I don't own Hetalia. Just sayin'**

Kiku hated gym. This was considered to be pretty unusual ith the rural town he lived in. After all, several kids were from farms, and were already used to the physical activity in the class. Kiku had originally lived in the city, but after his parent's divorce, he ended up out here with his mom. His dad lived in the nearest city, two hours away. But his geographical backround was not why he hated gym.

He hated gym because it was the last period of the day. For anyone else, this would be fine. After all, the coaches didn't care if people hung out in the locker rooms. Unfortunately, the lack of caring was sort of the problem. See, most people left a few minutes after the bell so that they didn't miss the bus.

Kiku walked to and from school.

So did Gilbert Weillschmidt.

As such they could both stay late.

Gilbert Weillschmidt was everything Kiku Honda was not. Gilbert was tall. He was well built. He was (in Kiku's opinion) incredibly handsome. Kiku Honda on the other hand, was short, standing at 5'3. He was, while not skinny, more wiry and gangly that muscular. He was fairly plain. But most importantly, Gilbert was straight. Kiku... wasn't. And, well, they were both in highschool and full of hormones. So, it was inevitable that Kiku was attracted to Gilbert. It was equally inevitable that Gilbert was disgusted by this.

OoO

Kiku sighed as he walked into the locker room. He was late, as usual. It was usually better to wait for the locker room to clear out. He got hit less that way.

He looked around the room. Good, it was empty. He walked to his locker, stripping off his gym shirt as he went. He pulled off his shorts, stuffing the clothes into his locker.

He barely even heard Gilbert coming before he was suddenly trapped between Gilbert's arms. Gilbert was leaning against him, with his arms braced against the lockers. Kiku closed his eyes.

See, Gilbert had a game he liked to play. He would flirt with Kiku in the lockers after school. (Honestly, Kiku sort of doubted Gilbert's sexuality sometimes, not that he would ever voice it.) He knew that Kiku was gay, everyone did. What most people didn't know was how easy it was to humiliate Kiku, even if there was no one there to witness it. All you really had to do was flirt with him, or really touch him in any way. Gilbert seemed to like seeing Kiku squirm and try to hide his fear and embarrassment, which was presumably why he played this "game" so much.

Gilbert tilted his head towards Kiku's ear. "Staying late, are we?"

Kiku swallowed thickly. "I could say the same of you."

Gilbert laughed, blowing hot air into Kiku's ear. "I guess you could. although, I have been wondering... Why, exactly, do you always come in so late?"

Kiku stayed silent, mostly because Gilbert knew perfectly well why Kiku was always late. Or at least, Kiku thought Gilbert did. He must have known what happened when a "fag" like Kiku tried to change with other guys out in the open. Last time he tried, he'd carried the bruises around for over a week.

Kiku could practically feel Gilbert's smirk as he leaned forward, close enough that Gilbert's bare chest was touching Kiku's back. _He's not wearing a shirt?!_ Kiku shivered, trying to will away the mental images.

"You didn't answer my question, Kiku. Why are you always so late? I mean..." Gilbert trailed off. "It's not like you like this, is it?"

Kiku made no response. Much to his surprise, Gilbert pushed himself off after a few moments of silence. "You should get going. After all, not everyone is as merciful as me." Gilbert flashed Kiku an overly toothy grin before grabbing (and putting on) his clothes and leaving.

_...Is that all?_ Well, Kiku wasn't going to complain. Gilbert usually drew the whole thing out, but hell, if he got a break, so be it. He threw on his clothes, grabbed his bag and left. As he walked out of the school and towards the road, he couldn't help but think about Gilbert. After all, there was quite a lot that just didn't make sense about the albino. His family was one of the few families that weren't farmers. Gilbert's father, Aldrick, ran an auto shop, and generally helped out with any repairs that various equipment might need. Kiku had met the man a few times, and while he was curt, he didn't seem at all cruel or really even discriminatory.  
On the other hand, Gilbert seemed to have had it out for Kiku since the day he moved to the town. It had started small. Bumping into Kiku in the halls. Knocking Kiku's books out of his hands if Gilbert thought he could get away with it. But then, Gilbert noticed the teacher's apathy towards his actions.  
Gilbert's actions had escalated until he finally started this near-daily locker room assaults. That's what really confused Kiku about Gilbert. If anyone walked in on Kiku and Gilbert in the locker room, they would almost certainly assume that Gilbert had initiated the whole thing. Kiku knew Gilbert wasn't doing it to gain some sort of status, like other people did. After all, he couldn't tell anyone, not without them assuming that Gilbert was gay too. Kiku was jolted out of his thoughts as he arrived at his door.  
Perhaps trying to figure out why Gilbert acted like he did was something best left to after a nap. And with that, he went to his room, flopped down on his bed, and went to sleep.

**So this happened. Really, this whole thing was inspired by the fabulous Vixi Dilexi and her fill for a prompt of mine on the Kink Meme (****You're not a leader You're a bully****, for the curious). Updates will hopefully be at least once a month.**


	2. How Couldn't You

Kiku woke up at 4:42 in the morning, still fully clothed. He glanced blearily at the clock. Had he really slept that long? How tired had he really been? His mom and stepdad were probably gone by now. His step dad, Charlie, worked as a farmhand, and his mom still worked in the city, meaning they both left early. Kiku groaned and sat up. After all, it was really no use going back to sleep, not when it was so close to when he usually woke fumbled in the dark for his clock, shutting off the alarm before getting up and turning on the lights in his room.

His room was pretty simple, as his family wasn't exactly rich. All there really was for furniture as a twin bed shoved in the far corner by the solitary window, a small desk opposite the bed, and a dresser beside the bed. The desk held his laptop, an older computer that he had saved his money for. It had taken two years to save up the money he needed, but it was worth it.

Kiku grabbed a towel, trotting to the bathroom to take a shower. As he turned the water on, his thoughts drifted back to the day before. Why had Gilbert let him go so easily? Had he grown tired of that game? Gilbert had mentioned something about Kiku "Liking it," so maybe Gilbert had just got weirded out by the whole thing. Kiku shook his head as he tested the water's temperature, before stripping down and getting in.

But that still left the question of why Gilbert had even started harassing Kiku in the locker room. It just didn't make any sense, no matter how Kiku looked at it. The assaults were embarrassing and humiliating, yeah, but Gilbert gained nothing from them. Did Gilbert really hate him so much that he would torment Kiku sexually? It didn't seem likely. Then again, he had never seen Gilbert outside of the school, so he wasn't sure if Gilbert's harassment was truly an act put up to protect himself. After all, Gilbert wasn't really normal either.

Well, it didn't really matter why Gilbert did what he did. Either way, he didn't exactly foresee Gilbert stopping altogether anytime soon, even if he did quit the locker room assaults. Kiku finished up his shower, heading back to his room to get dressed.

Even if he had to go to school relatively soon, at least his morning was peaceful. That, Kiku mused, was sometimes all that could be hoped for.

**OoO**

School, as always, was a joy. It was 9:37 and he had already been knocked down three times, had his books stolen twice, and had found six notes in his locker. The notes seemed to have a recurring theme of "go die faggot". He had stuffed the notes into his pocket. Kiku was now in his third period class, physics. He actually sort of liked physics. He was good at math, and the subject matter was, in his opinion, interesting. It would be his favorite class if Gilbert wasn't in it.

While Kiku was on the advanced track along with a few other juniors, Gilbert was on the regular track, meaning that the two did share some classes, like pre-calc and physics. They didn't actually share a gym class though, their classes just took place during the same period. Gilbert was fairly smart, though Kiku wasn't sure that Gilbert could make it to the advanced track, even if there was time left. After all, Gilbert was a senior.

The aforementioned albino, however, didn't seem to find physics as entertaining as Kiku did. Subsequently, Gilbert had resorted to poking Kiku in the back with his pen as a source of entertainment._ Just my luck he would have a seat behind me..._ Kiku shifted to the right in his seat. If Gilbert had to poke him, Kiku could atleast make sure it wasn't all in the same spot.

"Hey, Kiku."

Kiku started at the whisper from the seat behind him, before deciding that his day would probably go better if he tried to ignore Gilbert.

Gilbert, apparently, had other plans.

"Kiku. Kiiiiiku. Hey. Heeey. Kikuu. Turn around!"

Kiku sighed, but stayed still. Only twenty-three minutes left until class ended and he could get away from Gilbert. Gilbert was actually one of the only people who bothered him in class, a welcome change from last year. He wasn't sure if the teachers had gotten stricter, or if he had gotten boring.

Kiku was distracted from these thoughts by noticing Gilbert poking into his left pocket with his pen, apparently trying to dig out one of the hate notes. Kiku scooted forward in his chair, before whispering, "What are you doing?!"

Gilbert looked up, as he was bent over to try and reach Kiku's pocket. "What are those?"

"They're notes."

Gilbert waited for a moment, probably for an elaboration, before responding. "From who?"

"I dunno." Kiku could probably figure it out if he tried, but why bother? It wouldn't change anything. The administration, Kiku found, cared a lot less than they said they did.

"Can I see one?" Gilbert asked curiously. Kiku hesitated, before digging one out of his pocket and passing it to Gilbert. After all, what was the harm of letting Gilbert have one? None of them said anything particularly groundbreaking in terms of threats and death wishes.

Gilbert stayed silent for a few minutes as he read the note. Oddly enough, he stayed silent for almost ten minutes afterwards, before finally poking Kiku.

Kiku had been enjoying the opportunity to work on the exercises, that had been passed out during Gilbert's silence, in peace. He jumped a bit when Gilbert poked him, as he had almost forgotten that the albino had a note. He turned a bit, morbidly curious as to what the albino had to say.

"Do you always get notes like this?"

Kiku blinked. That was a bit of an unexpected question. "Well, yeah. Pretty much every day."

Gilbert stared intently at Kiku, before looking away. Gilbert stayed silent for a few more minutes, evidently thinking.

Kiku had just returned to his work when Gilbert poked him again. "Is it bad? The bullying, I mean."

Kiku actually gaped at Gilbert. Did Gilbert really just ask him that? Did Gilbert, one of Kiku's biggest tormentors, one of the people that Kiku, at times, truly feared, just ask him if the Bullying ever got bad? Gilbert, who had teased him in several ways ever since the ninth grade, who had sexually harassed him for at least a year, was asking him this.

Kiku must have been staring for quite a while, as Gilbert seemed to be a bit uncomfortable uncomfortable under Kiku's gaze. Kiku could have laughed at the irony.

Kiku cleared his throat, composing himself. "Umm. Yeah. It can get pretty bad." He thought for a moment. "Well, It's better than it was last year. I don't really get beat up anymore. Most of the guys that did it graduated, I think. Not all of them, but I suppose the ones still here just got bored of it."

Gilbert looked a bit sheepish at that. While he didn't participate in the semi-rare beatings, he certainly cheered them on. "Well, that's good I guess. Umm..." He glanced down at the desk then back to Kiku. "Look, I just want t-" The bell rang, cutting Gilbert off. Gilbert shrugged. "Well, gotta go. See ya after school."

Kiku nodded half heartedly. "Yeah." And with that, he shoved his papers into his notebook, gathered up his things, and headed into the hall to his next class, a resource class.

He was thankful to have some time to think over the previous conversation with Gilbert. Once again, Gilbert seemed to be an enigma. For one thing, why was Gilbert being so nice to him? He hadn't really noticed it over the course of conversation, but Gilbert had been disconcertingly nice, refraining from calling him names or otherwise insulting him.

And of course, there was the biggest question Kiku had: Why had Gilbert asked him about the daily bullying? Gilbert knew what happened to Kiku every day. He had to. He participated in it!

Actually, thinking back... Gilbert had been fairly tame this year. Beyond the locker room assaults, he didn't really do much, besides maybe insulting him in the halls. Kiku personally considered the attacks in the locker room to be as bad as anything else Gilbert had done, but maybe Gilbert saw it as something smaller? Kiku sighed quietly.

He glanced up at the clock. 10:47. Kiku shuffled through his papers, pulling out his physics homework. He stared at the paper, attempting to summon up some sort of his usual interest in the subject. After a few moments of being completely unable to rouse himself from his unusual apathy, he finally put away his paper and put his head down on his desk. There was only a few minutes left in class anyway...

**OoO**

The rest of the day passed without major incident. Besides the usual shoving and slurs, nothing much happened. The other class Kiku shared with Gilbert, pre-calc, was uneventful, seeing as Gilbert was seated on the other side of the room. However, the issue of after school remained. Kiku quickly and quietly changed into his street clothes, glad that Gilbert had not gotten the chance to catch him shirtless. Kiku paused after dressing, listening for any noises. He didn't hear anything... Had Gilbert left already?

Well, Kiku wasn't going to complain. He grabbed his bag and turned to leave, only to find Gilbert leaning against the wall adjacent to him. Kiku blinked and looked down, avoiding Gilbert's gaze. . How long has he been standing there...?  
Gilbert stepped towards Kiku. "I was looking for you."

Kiku kept looking at his own feet. "Why?"

Gilbert took another step. "Had some stuff I wanted to say. Didn't have time to say it earlier."

Kiku stayed quiet waiting for Gilbert to elaborate. Thankfully, Gilbert seemed to pick up on this. He stepped forward, so that he was only six or so inches away from Kiku, before looking around. Checking for people? Gilbert took a deep breath and finally said, "I'm sorry."

Kiku looked up at that. "What?"

Gilbert suddenly looked sheepish. "Umm. I'm sorry. For, y'know... all the shit I did."

Kiku bit the inside of his cheek. "Okay, I guess..."

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "That's all?"

Kiku looked uncomprehendingly at Gilbert. "...What do you mean?"

Gilbert shrugged. "I dunno. Just more than 'okay.'"

Now Kiku raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

Gilbert looked around again, before leaning forward and placing one arm against the locker and leaning on it, so that he was very close to Kiku. Uncomfortably close... Gilbert looked down at Kiku with an odd expression, lowereing his voice into a husky half-whisper. "Just something a little... more. Nothing big, but... maybe a bit more... personal?"

Ohh no. Kiku knew exactly where this was going, and he wasn't going to be a part of it. "Huh. I'd oblige, but I have to go now. See you around."

And with that, Kiku slipped past Gilbert and headed towards the door. However, he was not expecting Gilbert to grab his sleeve. "What's wrong? Why are you leaving?"

Kiku turned, backing away. "What do you mean, why? We both know what you're doing."

Gilbert grabbed Kiku's wrist, preventing him from backing up any further. "What do you mean, what I'm doing?"

Kiku blinked in surprise, then anger.. "What you do every day. You catch me in here, and you pin me against the wall, and you do That! Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, you always do it!" His voice was becoming panicked, but Kiku didn't even notice. He was just glad to finally be able to tell Gilbert what he felt, though he had a feeling he would get punched for it.

Gilbert looked downright confused now. "This? This is just talking."

Kiku shook his head. "You just did it. You always do that, you... flirt with me, and harass me, and make me feel like shit, and I am so fucking tired of it! Now let go of me!"

Gilbert did let go, and even took a step back before speaking. "That... You liked that. That's why... I didn't..." He stopped, before staring blankly at Kiku. "You didn't...? Yesterday, you..."

Kiku looked away. "Whatever. I'm leaving." With that, he walked out the door, leaving Gilbert to his thoughts.

**oOo**

Kiku was glad to be home. He had ran the previous events through his head several times, and they just didn't add up. Gilbert apologising was a trap. Based on previous encounters, that's what made sense. But at the end, Gilbert seemed baffled that Kiku objected to what happened in the locker room.

So maybe the apology wasn't a trap? If Gilbert didn't think he had done anything wrong, maybe he wasn't apologising for anything that occurred in the present year. Kiku groaned, dropping his bag on the floor of his room and sitting on his bed. He didn't want to think. He wanted to sleep, but if he did, he'd probably sleep all day again...

He ended up going downstairs. He flopped down on the couch and started flipping through channels, eventually ending up on some documentary about Atlantis. He leaned back and just zoned out, mildly amused by the narrator's assertion that atlantis almost certainly existed. It was a fun sort of situation to think about...

He looked up when he heard the door slam, surprised at seeing his mom home so early.

His mom looked weary, though she seemed thankful when she saw Kiku, moving over to sit on the couch with him.. "Hey hun. I was hoping I'd find you."

Kiku tilted his head. "What do you mean?"

His mom sighed. "Well, there's sort of big news."

"Good or bad?"

His mom ran a hand through her hair. "Well... I'm not sure what you'll think of it."

Kiku raised an eyebrow. His mom knew him better than anyone, and she wasn't sure? "What is it?"

His mom closed her eyes for a moment, seemingly steeling herself. "Your dad requested a modification of the divorce decree." Upon seeing her son's confused look, she elaborated. "Your dad wants sole custody of you. We'll be going to court about it soon."

oOo

**So, the story should be outdated on the first of every month... If it's not, check my profile, because I should have a reason up there. I really hope that this doesn't come off as disrespectful to the author of the other story, because that was fantastic, and ended up causing a plot bunny attack. **

**Anyways, I'm basing the classes and schedule of the school off of my own experiences. I'm not exactly familiar with the court process for changing custody of a minor, so if there are any horrifically obvious inaccuracies, be sure to tell me.**

**On that note, REVIEW. If you like it, hate it, wish to set me on fire, whatever, TELL ME. I'll never improve if I don't get criticism. **


	3. Ask

Kiku gaped. "What?! I... How soon is soon?"

His mom sighed. "Probably about a month from now." She gave Kiku a weary smile. "Don't worry too much about it, alright? Whatever case he has, I'm sure that you'll still be able to stay with us."

Kiku nodded, not entirely convinced. "Do you know why he's trying to get custody?" His Dad hadn't contacted him at all during the four years Kiku's mom had sole custody. He'd been in jail, so naturally there were no visits, but there hadn't even been a phone call. So why...? "When did he even get out of jail?"

His mom shook her head. "I don't know. Just don't be too anxious about it, alright? It'll all work out."

Kiku nodded again. "I know."

The following silence hung in the air. Kiku's mom smiled wearily before ruffling Kiku's hair and getting up. "So how was school?"

Kiku shrugged. "Fine." He hadn't told his mom about what happened every day, though he suspected that she knew by now. At first he just didn't want to upset his mom so soon after the move. By now, it was just an unspoken status quo.

His mother nodded. "That's good. What are you learning about?"

Kiku lay on his bed, staring up at his ceiling. The conversation had tapered off after they finished talking about the upcoming court battle, and Kiku had retreated up to his room to think. Specifically, about his dad.

Kiku's parents had divorced when he was eight. His father had cheated on his mother. at first, custody had been split, with Kiku's parents staying in the same district and Kiku just switching houses every other week.

Kiku was nine when his dad got addicted to meth. At first he had just used it, but he soon decided that it was more efficient to make it. It was worse when his dad quit. It was all too easy for his dad to turn around and start dealing. By the time Kiku was eleven, there were always strangers in the house, both women his dad had taken a liking to and people looking to buy and smoke drugs.

That was when the police had busted in. His mother was quickly given full custody. His mother had met Charlie when Kiku was ten, and shortly after the custody transfer, the family moved to Flanagan.

Honestly, he liked it better here than with his dad. Sure, he got bullied, but at least he knew that his parents would come home sober. Hell, at least he knew his parents would come home. He knew that when he walked in, he would know everyone in the house. No one came home with a knife or a gun or more drugs or a whore.

He was safe at home. That was a guarantee that he'd never had with his dad.

And now he might not have a choice but to go back to that. It wasn't likely, but... The possibility was frightening.

Kiku sat up. There was really no use moping about it, he supposed. He would just depress himself. He stretched, getting off the bed and slipping on his shoes. He needed to go out and get his mind off of the whole deal.

He trudged down the stairs. "Hey Mom? I'm going for a walk."

"Alright sweetie. don't stay out too late, alright?"

"'Kay."

And with that, he walked out the door.

He had intended to go to the library, he really did. But somehow, he had reached the library and just kept walking. It was peaceful, walking around the various farmlands and even the quiet town center. It was easy to just walk and clear his mind.

But eventually, he got tired. He wandered into a gas station store, and was contemplating buying a can of tea when someone tapped him on the shoulder. Kiku wasn't sure whom he expected so see, but he certainly didn't expect Gilbert Weillschmidt.

Kiku just stared, which was sort of rude, but he really couldn't help it. He probably should've expected something like this, seeing as Gilbert lived fairly close to here, but he apparently hadn't thought that far ahead.

Well, now was not really the time to be staring. Kiku shifted awkwardly. "Hi."

Gilbert smiled. "Hey." He looked around for a second. "I, umm... wanted to talk to you."

"About what?"

Gilbert shrugged. "Pretty much all of last year." He looked around again. "Do you mind if we go outside or something? It'd be sort of weird if someone heard."

Kiku nodded mutely. Gilbert was pretty clearly protecting his own reputation, and Kiku couldn't blame him.

Gilbert motioned for Kiku to follow him, and they headed out together. Gilbert led him behind the store. It was more private than Kiku would have expected, really.

Gilbert leaned against the wall. "Umm..." He bit his lip. Kiku had never seen Gilbert almost nervous like this. He always seemed to project a sort of brash, confident air.

Though, at the moment, Kiku was more concerned with the fact that he, for some unfathomable reason, had actually followed Gilbert back here. But Kiku did know the reason. He had followed Gilbert not only because Kiku still had some sort of inexplicable crush on the albino, but also because Gilbert also had actually been somewhat decent to him lately.

But Gilbert looked like he had finally gathered his words together, so Kiku stopped pondering and started listening.

"Look, I'm..." He sighed. "I'm really sorry about the locker room thing. I really am. I just sort of figured, since you were gay, and I thought that you had some sort of weird crush on me, I thought it was like... not that bad, I guess. I mean, you never yelled at me, well you did, but you only did it just now, so I thought you were okay with it, or you..." Gilbert was actually blushing now. "I thought it was something you liked. Like, everyone was a dick to you all day, but then you had gym and nothing bad happened. And I mean, I..." He sighed again. "I'm not helping myself, am I."

Kiku shook his head, looking down to ensure that if he did blush at all, Gilbert didn't see. "You're really not... I just..." Now Kiku was the one sighing. "Did you really think that? That I liked you treating me like, like some sort of toy? It was really shitty. It really was..."

Gilbert shrugged. "I didn't think you saw it like that. I mean, it was just flirting. Really heavy flirting, but I thought you would be flattered."

Kiku shouldn't have even replied. But he was stressed, and tired, and _goddamn_ if he wasn't going to give Gilbert what was coming to him.

"Why would you think that? I mean, you would just humiliate me, make me feel ashamed to, to not be normal, and then you would just laugh and say it was my fault, my fault for being a... a freak. And really, if, if anyone should understand what that's like, it should have been you! But instead, you, you shoved my down so that you could climb up, so that you could be more popular. You slit my throat, just so that, so that you could have a better standing with people that didn't even bully you anyway! You used my pain, to protect yourself against a monster that didn't exist! No one would touch you, your dad is one of the most well respected guys in town! And you just..." He stopped there, finally choking up. He didn't want to cry, but somewhere in the middle of his rant, the tears had started and didn't stop as he let out years of pent up sadness and anger and loneliness. "No one would even talk to me, they treated me like an animal... and if anyone could have helped, it would have been you, but..." Kiku swallowed thickly. "You hated me. Everyone hated me. They wanted me to die."

I wanted to die. The words were never spoken, but they hung in the air. "And now you're apologising, because you got bored of playing this, this stupid game, and you want to put the pieces up before you turn the lights out and leave."

Gilbert was staring at him, but Kiku didn't care. Kiku wanted to collapse, to fall down and just cry, but he wouldn't, not when he had just exposed so much, and his throat felt full, and he just cried.

At some point Gilbert put his arms around Kiku, pulled him into a awkward but strangely comforting hug, and mumbled something that was probably an apology into Kiku's hair.

Kiku could not find the strength to push Gilbert away.

**Happy new years guize!**

**Anyway, this story is probably just going to be loads of little chapters, seeing as I have no work ethic. **

**Kiku sort of has a stutter when he's upset. That's what I was going for, at least. Sorry for punching everybody in the face with exposition and angst, by the way. **

**This chapter was supposed to be more makeout-y, but then this happened. **

**Anyway, I WILL NEVER IMPROVE IF YOU GUYS DON'T COMMENT**

**peace bras**


	4. And Ye Shall Receive

It was only a few minutes before Kiku pushed Gilbert off, though it was a rather gentle push, considering it was directed towards someone he had just been screaming at. Kiku's eyes were still red from crying, the tracks from the tears all too prominent on his face. He stepped back.

Gilbert opened his mouth to speak before thinking better of it and looking down.

Kiku wiped at his face with the back of his hand.

They stood in silence.

Kiku sniffed a bit before finally composing himself enough to speak, though his voice was still hoarse.

"Just please... please say there was another reason. That you didn't just do it for social power. Just... Please, please tell me why."

Gilbert looked at Kiku with something akin to pity. Kiku was tempted to snap at him, to say something sarcastic and cut himself off, but he was tired and had just opened himself up to Gilbert and pity was better than apathy anyways.

Gilbert chewed on the inside of his cheek before finally speaking.

"Well... I guess it started dumb. Like, you were new and quiet and didn't really ever interact with anyone. So me and a few other guys started messing with you, ya know? And you would react, and show something. We thought it was sort of funny, seeing someone that was usually so quiet and sort of dignified like you freaking out. But then it got out that you were gay, and I dunno, That's when some of the guys started hating you. I mean..."

Gilbert shifted, looking everywhere but Kiku's face.

"I didn't think everyone hated you! I thought it was just some of the guys! I mean, I figured you had friends in the city or somethin'. I didn't think that you... I mean, I didn't know you got notes. I didn't know people actually wanted you to..." Gilbert finally looked Kiku in the eye.

"I didn't know. I... I'm sorry."

Kiku just shook his head.

"That doesn't explain the locker room thing."

Gilbert blinked, before looking away again. But really, it looked more like he was checking to make sure there was no one else around...

"Alright, if you tell anyone this, I will murder you. Seriously."

Kiku nodded, his curiosity piqued at Gilbert's pseudo-sarcasm.

"Well, you know Ludwig? My brother?"

Kiku nodded again. Ludwig, while not kind to him, was at least civil.

"Well, he's..." Gilbert looked around, dropping his voice to a whisper. "He's gay."

Well. Kiku had not been expecting that. "...Really?"

Gilbert nodded. "That's what I said too."

Kiku took a moment to think this newfound information over. Ludwig being gay was... more than a surprise. While it answered a few questions, such as why Gilbert had mostly left him alone this year, it raised a whole new set. Was that why Ludwig was so civil to him? Or was just how Ludwig was? He wondered in the back of his mind If Ludwig ever thought about talking to Kiku about the whole thing. It seemed... unlikely, but it would have been nice, to have a friend... But either way, there were questions to be answered now, and even thinking about talking to Ludwig would have to wait for later.

"So wait, what does this have to do with the locker room... thing?"

Gilbert looked flat-out embarrassed.

"Well, you know how people say that being gay is genetic? Well, I thought that maybe I was gay, you know? So I figured, I should act gay and see if I like it, ya know? But if I acted like that to any of the guys, I'd get my ass kicked. So... I tried it out on you." The albino's expression had changed into one of nonchalance, with possibly even some pride.

"And it worked, I think. I mean, it's not like you freak out and run away when you see me."

Kiku furrowed his brows.

"Wait, what do you mean by 'act gay'? Like..." He didn't even want to say the word.

"Like seducing? All that shit in the locker room was some sort of twisted seduction attempt?"

Gilbert shrugged.

"Well, I sort of took some advice from a guy I know. But... Yeah, It's a little like that I guess."

"Well, whoever gave you that advice was messing with you. The stuff you did was degrading. Who even gave you that advice?"

Gilbert shrugged.

"Cousin of a friend. But it did sort of work, right? I mean... Like, maybe you would hang out with me outside of school?"

Kiku stared at Gilbert blankly. Did that... did he hear that wrong? Did this actually just happen? No way. He had to make sure.

"You mean like... a date? Like a more-than-friends thing?"

Gilbert nodded.

"Yeah. Will you?"

Kiku just looked at Gilbert for several more moments, praying that he wasn't blushing.

"Uhm. I'll think about it. Look, I have to go. Like, now."

He pushed past Gilbert, and all but ran to the front of the store. He ignored Gilbert wandering out after him, choosing instead to shove his hands in his pockets and turning towards his house. By the time he dared to look over his shoulder, Gilbert was walking away, presumably to his own home.

He had been walking for about fifteen minutes when he realized that a car seemed to be following him. he turned, intending to get a better look at the car for later. Much to his surprise, the car stopped and rolled the window down. A strangely familiar face looked out. The man looked to be Japanese, around the age of thirty, with a face that looked thin more from malnutrition than any sort of genetics. The man wore a sad smile, before finally speaking.

"Hey there, shou inu. It's been a while."

_Little dog_... only one person had ever called him that. But... Kiku started in realization and surprise.

"Dad?!"

**You know who loves cliff hangers? Me. That is who. **

**I wonder who the guy Gilbert took advice from ooooh it is a mystery for now I guess.**

******My chapters appear to be getting progressively shorter. One day I will change that. Today is not that day.**

**Please, make sure to review and critique. Why settle for a mediocre story when you could help make it great?**

**ps I hate the copy/paste feature on FF. It keeps ruining my formatting. It is bad and it should feel bad.**


	5. Freak Like Me

Kiku could hardly believe his eyes. His dad was here?! He would have to turn up eventually, Kiku knew that much with the court case and all, but Kiku didn't think that his dad would be here now.

"What... How did you get here? I mean, I thought you were..."

His father, Haruki, looked rather sheepish.

"I only got off of parole two months ago. I couldn't really contact your mother while I was on parole, so I could only now petition for custody. Anyway, I saw you walking and I thought you might like a ride."

Kiku hesitated. He never even knew that his dad had gotten parole, but though his last memories of his father were... unpleasant, Haruki had been a good dad once. Kiku remembered good things, like going to ball games, and his father teaching him to speak Japanese...

His father was where most of his culture came from. True, it had been mostly beaten out of him in his time here, but it was the thought that counted, right? His father was even responsible for his name. His mother had wanted a more western name, but his father had insisted that Kiku be given a Japanese name, even it was a bit girly.

Kiku must have been thinking without speaking for longer than he thought (a habit he was trying to break), because his father soon spoke again.

"I know that we left on a bad note, but I have so much to tell you about. It's been so long since we could talk..."

Kiku was tempted to point out that he had never even gotten so much as a letter while Haruki was in prison, but some sort of familial respect kept his mouth shut.

It would be a short trip in his father's car anyways. Kiku quietly got into the car. His father smiled and immediately began asking questions as he drove.

"So how's school? You always were bright."

Kiku shrugged.

"It's ok. The classes are easy, but some of the kids are..." Kiku paused. searching for the right word. "Weird, I guess. Some are pretty rude too." Rude was a bit of an understatement, but his dad didn't need to know that yet.

His father shrugged. "There are a few bad apples in any tree. What classes are you in?"

"All the usual classes. There really aren't that many cool classes to take..."

"Well, it is a pretty small town. Are you in any sports?"

"No. I'm no good at sports... And I've been concentrating on school lately." It was a small lie, but his father wouldn't know that. Really, he wasn't in sports because he doubted that he could join a sport without immediately being harassed off of the team.

His dad nodded knowingly. "I'd want to get out of here too."

Kiku blinked, the relaxed a bit and smiled. How his father read him so well was a mystery, but it was one that Kiku was grateful for. He glanced over.

"What about you? What did you do when you were on parole?"

Haruki visibly hesitated.

"That was something I wanted to tell you about. You see... I met someone while I was on parole. We, uhh... got married a few months ago."

Kiku's previous good mood evaporated at those words. He looked back out the window, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He wasn't... surprised? No that wasn't the word for the sudden tightness in his chest.

Haruki seemed to catch on to the sudden silence in the car, and said nothing. There was no indication of worry from the man except for quick glances over at Kiku.

They did not talk for the rest of the way.

_x_

The next morning at school was frighteningly blissful. Evidently, there was a new student arriving at school that day. Kiku had not taken notice of the earlier chatter about the new kid, as he tended to block out most conversation. No one seemed to know much of anything about the new student, though.  
Kiku decided it was best to ignore the chatter for now and instead just enjoy the peace.

_x_

Kiku looked around nervously as he left the cafeteria. He had been left alone so far today. Even Gilbert had left him alone in physics, seeming put out about something. He had promised to tell Kiku later about why he was upset, and had refused to say anything more.

But Kiku's luck had never lasted thus far, and there was no reason to expect change now.

This principle presented itself when Kiku leaned down to take a drink of water from the fountain, at which point someone came up behind him and smashed his head into the cold metal. Kiku stumbled back, clutching at his now bloody nose and grimacing at the taste of copper and salt now in his mouth.

The small crowd that had gathered dispersed quickly when it became clear that no fight was going to occur. Kiku ducked into the bathroom to clean himself up and make sure that there was no major damage.

Luckily, all that had happened was his nose being bloodied and his teeth cutting into his lip. He spat blood into the sink before grabbing a handful of paper towels to clean his face with. But as he grabbed the paper, the door to the bathroom opened.

Kiku turned, expecting to see Gilbert, but was instead surprised to see some one he didn't know. The teen looked to be a senior, about Gilbert's size, though a bit bulkier. The older teen shifted, looking more at the blood on Kiku's face than anything else.

"I saw what happened."

Kiku found himself lost for words. This was pretty obviously the new kid, so it made sense that he would be confused by the seemingly random act of violence. Kiku shrugged.

"Don't worry about it too much. It happens."

The other teen frowned.

"Why?"

Kiku was slightly surprised. He would have thought that someone would have informed the new kid of his status as school pariah. Well, he would do the informing himself then. Perhaps it was unwise, but atleast he wouldn't have to drag himself to another bathroom to clean himself up.

"Because I'm gay."

Kiku revived a blank look.

"So?"

Now it was Kiku looking at the teen blankly, before glancing back at the mirror.

"You're not from around here, are you?"

The teen shrugged.

"Why is that important?"

Kiku opened his mouth to explain, before thinking better of it and shaking his head.

"You'll find out soon." He glanced at the clock.

"I need to get going."

The other teen frowned.

"Aren't you going to the nurse's office?"

Kiku turned fully back to the mirror, wiping at the blood.

"It's not like my nose is broken. I'll be fine."

The older teen's frown deepened.

"You were bleeding, though."

"It's nothing I haven't had before."

He threw away the paper towels and glanced again at the clock.

"I'll be late if I don't leave now."

The teen threw a glance at the door.

"Fine. Give me your phone."

Kiku hesitated before handing the thing over. The unfamiliar teen had been kind, if a bit rough, so far. After a while, Kiku desperately needed someone outside of his family to trust.

The teen fiddled with the phone, then his own. He handed the phone back.

"I put my number in there. I'll text you later."

Kiku nodded mutely. The other teen glanced at the clock, then slightly awkwardly at Kiku, before taking his leave.

The silence in the bathroom seemed bigger than it could have possibly been.

_x_

**If this chapter seems a little late, that's only because it is. It would have been up earlier, but I had a track meet yesterday and couldn't get everything transferred until now. This chapter was also originally longer, but you'll have to wait a month until you get to see what was cut!**

**Anyone care to guess who our mystery teen is? Leave it in the comments! Or, if you have anything else to say, leave that in the comments too! Suggestions are always welcome!**

**(If you want to comment on chapter 4 too, that would be cool I guess)**

**Peace and stuff**


	6. Then ask again

After wiping the blood away from his nose and mouth, Kiku headed to English class. He found the class boring, but at least it gave him time to think.

While he still had loads of questions about the new kid, as the end of the day drew near, his thoughts turned more to Gilbert. Specifically, his own conflicting feelings toward the albino.

On one hand, Kiku did still hold some resentment toward Gilbert for what he did. He had proved that when he blew up at Gilbert. But even though he had vented, it seemed impossible to forgive the older teen for the years of torment- especially in only three days. Even with all of Gilbert's apologies, there was just too much pent up anger in Kiku's heart.

On the other hand, Gilbert seemed to genuinely think that the last year had been good for Kiku. He really, really seemed to seemed to think that he had been making reparations, instead of psychologically hurting Kiku.

The thing was, it was hard for Kiku to forgive one major thing that seemed omnipresent in his life: Gilbert never asked. He had never asked if Kiku was okay, and that was the root of it. It was humiliating, to get tossed around like he had been lately.

But now, Gilbert was asking. There was a certain level of expectation when he asked, but there was still the gesture. There was the option of saying no and just walking away. But did asking really excuse everything else he had done?

How could it?

What mattered most though, was that what was happening now. And some small voice in the back of his mind whispered, _Wouldn't it be nice to have someone on your side?_

There was the new student, Kiku argued with himself. He had, so far, proven himself to be friendly.

_But you've wanted this for years,_ his traitorous mind argued. _Ever since you were twelve, and this all started. You_ _wanted_ him_ to stand by you._ And it was true, wasn't it? It was dumb and, and he had given up on it years ago. Ever since he had really begun to notice other guys, he had a crush on the guy, but he knew that it was just a stupid fantasy. But now this was happening...

Maybe he could try it. It had been so long since he had been able to trust his peers...

Kiku glanced at the clock. He still had twenty minutes before the end of class, and even after that, he still had a period or so to decide.

Though, the more the thought about Gilbert, the better an idea it seemed to stick with the albino.

_x_

Kiku was glad his seventh period class was so close to the gym. It gave him time to get there early and change in a bathroom stall.

As he fiddled with the lock on his locker, he chewed absentmindedly on his lip.

"Oh, it's you again."

Kiku froze. Someone was here?! He turned, cowering slightly against his locker. He sighed and relaxed as he realized that it was just the new kid.

"Don't startle me like that."

The teen shrugged.

"Don't be so jumpy."

Kiku sighed again.

"It's sort of a habit. What's your name, anyway?"

"Abel. Why are you changing the subject?"

"I already told you, I'm gay. Getting caught alone in the locker room with people I don't recognize very well... doesn't usually end too well."

"You didn't recognize me?"

Kiku just looked at Abel for a moment, before turning back to his locker.

"That's not the point and you know it. You saw what happened today. I don't need anything worse."

Kiku opened up his locker, gathering his gym clothes and heading to the bathroom area.

"Don't change in there."

Kiku stopped and turned.

"I have to. Like I said, I-"

"I won't let anything happen."

Kiku stared at Abel. The teen held a serious expression on his face, but... Abel spoke again.

"Kiku. I promise that they will not touch you."

"How do you- Never mind." Kiku looked down.

"Look. Maybe another day. Now..." He glanced at the entrance to the room, where people were beginning to rush in.

Kiku looked back at Abel sheepishly, before ducking into a stall and locking himself in.

_x_

Kiku was thankful for gym. It was a good cool down time. The teacher for the junior class was infamously strict, giving Kiku something of a break. Gym would have been his favorite class, if not for the locker room.

Speaking of the locker room, it seemed to have lost some of his terror, with Gilbert seeming to have taken a liking to him, and now with Abel apparently trying to protect him.

Abel was a bit of an enigma, even moreso than Gilbert. He seemed genuinely friendly, if serious and oddly oblivious to the way things worked around here. Or was he just willfully ignorant?

Then again, maybe he just trusted Kiku more than Kiku trusted himself. It was sort of comforting, being trusted like that. Kiku wondered faintly where Abel came from. The city, probably.

He considered this as he put up the plastic cones used to mark the goal area from the previous game. He turned and headed back to the locker room.

But as he turned into the small hallway that led to the actual lockers, he heard something. He stopped, before edging closer to the to the entrance to the locker area, peeking in.

Gilbert and Abel were arguing. Kiku edged even closer, straining to hear.

"So why aren't you doing anything?!" Abel yelled.

Gilbert was sitting on a bench, his head in his hands, though he looked up at Abel's comment. He looked tired, though there was a sort of quiet anger in his eyes.

"I am doing something! I just have to talk to him about it."

"What are you doing, then?! Just tell me so that I can help this kid!"

They were talking about him. Kiku was unsure whether or not to make his presence known. He didn't want to cause more conflict, but he also needed his clothes. As such, he stayed put.

"Look, just wait a bit, okay? I need to talk to him first."

Abel frowned.

"Wait, you aren't..."

Gilbert said nothing.

Abel shook his head, beginning to pace.

"No. No, no, no, no, no. I... You can't do that to him. I know how you work when you get like that with people. You'll only hurt him more."

Gilbert shook his head.

"Look, I know that the thing with Bella didn't work, but-"

"It did more than not work. There is no way I'm letting you-"

Gilbert was standing now.

"That's was different. I... He's different. "It's... more than summer."

So that was how they knew each other. Gilbert had gone to... wherever Abel was from over the summer. They had been at a cousin's house, as Kiku recalled. He had overheard Gilbert talking about last fall... But who was Bella?

Abel practically growled. "Even if it is different, how is it gonna help? If everyone thinks you-"

Gilbert shook his head.

"It's not about people leaving him alone. It's about him not taking it all by himself anymore. What if he does something drastic? He needs-"

"He needs a real support system. You hanging out with him won't make any emotional bullshit he has go away. He needs more than you. He needs real help. We could talk to-"

"To who?! No one else in this town gives a shit about it! He needs this. He needs someone to give him what he wants."

"No, he needs a hell of a lot more than that. Fucking him won't help him. You'll just end up using him, just like with Bella."

Gilbert huffed.

"I didn't use her. She-"

Abel stepped closer to Gilbert, his voice going low, almost to a growl.

"I know how you're gonna end that sentence, and I would suggest that you shut up right now."

Gilbert turned back, facing the mirror along the back wall, opening his mouth to retort.

That's about when Kiku realized he was visible in the mirror.

Gilbert saw him, and time froze. Gilbert turned and walked to Kiku's admittedly poor hiding spot.

Abel moved to grab Gilbert's shoulder, presumably thinking that Gilbert was trying to leave, before seeing Kiku.

There was silence.

Abel spoke first.

"How long have you...?"

Kiku shrugged.

"A couple minutes."

Kiku hesitated before mumbling, "I'll just grab my clothes and go."

Neither senior stopped him as he edged past the duo to his locker. His hands were shaking slightly as the opened his locker, though he wasn't sure what emotion was causing it. He grabbed his clothes and bag.

He then slipped into a stall, trying to ignore the stares of the two older teens. He could hear them murmuring to each other, but he played no attention.

Even after he changed into his street clothes, he stayed in the stall, just thinking. He swallowed heavily and opened the stall.

He wanted to yell at the two, to tell them off for talking about him behind his back, but words seemed to fail him.

He looked at his shoes, then back to Abel and Gilbert.

"Next time you discuss what needs to happen in my life, I would appreciate you including my input."

With that, he walked out, and neither Gilbert or Abel followed.

Kiku laughed quietly to himself as the walked down the empty halls.

"They still never ask..."

**I edited it. I feel like this chapter is too exposition-y, but I also feel like this story requires it.**

**Also, I've decided that this will, in all ****likelyhood, retain it's current rating. That is to say, there won't be any smut or excessive violence in this fic! I may write smutty oneshots or even a separate omake to this story, but don't follow this expecting buttsex in-story,**

**Have a question? Suggestion? Critique? REVIEW! I am totally open to suggestions about where YOU think this story should go, or even tidbits that you think would make good (possibly in-story) omakes, but I'll never know what you want if I'm never told! **


	7. Railroading

**IMPORTANT NOTE: there will be texting in this chapter. For refrence, **_texts in Italic are (only) from Kiku, **Texts in bold and italic are from**_**_ Gilbert_, **and underlined texts are from Abel**. ****If there are other characters**** texting, they will either be in bold or italic and bold. I will put a note at the start of any chapter that contains texting, and if there are two characters with the same text format, I will clearly differentiate between the two in-story. Sorry for any confusion.**

* * *

Kiku trudged down the path to his house. School had been... an ordeal. He shook his head as he recalled both the argument between Abel and Gilbert, and his own reaction. It's not like he meant to get that... passive aggressive, but it had been a long time since he had much control over his life. Kiku rolled his shoulders, picking up his walking pace. He would be getting a lot of texts from Abel tonight, that was for sure.

Finally, his house was in sight. Granted, he didn't have much control there, either, but his parents at least tried to give him privacy- something he never had at school. and he could distract himself from life, and that was usually enough.

He looked at the yard where his family parked. Interestingly enough, there was another car there. The car was familiar, but he could not place it. Was it one of Charlie's friends?

Kiku grimaced to himself. None of Charlie's friends or family liked him that much, mostly for reasons his mother and stepfather would never admit. Well, he could probably avoid a "talk" if he went directly upstairs. Usually when Charlie only had one or two friends over, they mostly drank and shot the shit.

He opened the door,slipping off his shoes and turning to the stairs. Charlie was on the couch, watching basketball. The voices he heard from the kitchen made him pause. Charlie looked up from where he was sitting.

"You're mom is in the kitchen. She said to send you in there." Charlie, gruff though he may be, really wasn't so bad to live with, even if his friends didn't like Kiku. At least he was straightforward.

Kiku nodded in response, padding into the kitchen. He looked around, taking in the inhabitants. His mom was there, but his dad was too. He hadn't seen them in the same room for years. His mother smiled stiffly.

"Your father had something he wanted to talk to you about."

Haruki's grin, in contrast to his mother's, was genuine, if not incredibly uncomfortable.

"Yeah," He looked over at Kiku's mother, "But I'd like to do it privately... if that's appropriate."

So that was where Kiku got his passive aggressiveness from. Either way, if Kiku's mother was offended, she did not show it. she simply walked out of the room. Haruki watched her leave. Once she was out of sight, he turned back to Kiku.

"So how's school?"

"Good." Kiku lied. He saw no need for his dad to know his personal life.

His dad nodded.

"Good, good..." He hesitated. "Do you remember the other day? When I gave you a ride home, and we talked?"

Kiku nodded. Haruki bit his lip. "Remember how I said I got married?"

Kiku nodded again. Haruki looked at him searchingly, nervously.

"I'd like you to meet my wife. And... her kids. Your stepsiblings."

Kiku stayed silent, digesting this proposition. His father continued. "I mean, since we might get custody, and..." He trailed off, looking at Kiku. Kiku swallowed the lump in his throat. His phone buzzed in his pocket. He ignored it.

"When would I meet them?"

His father looked relieved. "Sometime next week."

Kiku slowly nodded, though he was nodding more to confirm that he had heard his father than to agree with anything he said.

His dad smiled. "Great! I'll pick you up sometime next week then!"

Kiku forced a smile. "Sounds good."

They sat in silence for a few moments before his dad got up. "I'll see you around then."

"Yeah."

His dad looked at him for a moment more, before walking out.

Kiku's phone buzzed again, and Kiku got up and headed to his room. He wanted to distract himself, but he wasn't sure if he could face Abel right now. He sat down on his bed heavily and sighed. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and shut it off, and grabbed a book off of his nightstand. Books were always a good distraction. He opened the well read book to a random page and started reading.

* * *

Three hours had passed. Dinner had come and gone, and Kiku had not checked his phone. He sat on his bed, staring at the phone in his hands, unable to decide whether not turning it on would be worth the interrogation he would surely receive tomorrow if he didn't. He took a deep breath and turned the old phone on. The screen showed, "15 MISSED MESSAGES" in bright, blinking letters. all of them were some Abel, and all were some variation of, "Are you angry?"

Kiku scrolled down to the newest one, sent ten minutes ago, and hit "REPLY."

_Not really_

A few minutes passed before he got the next text.

Then why werent u answering

_busy_

with what

_family stuff_

oh like what

_step family i guess_

ur parents are divorced?

_yeah_

sucks

_yeah_

Abel did not text back for a few minutes. Kiku had just put down his phone when there was another buzz.

were u mad earlier

_a little_

why

_you were talking behind my back_

it wasnt like that

_what was it_

i wanted to help

_why didn't you ask me_

i saw what happened

_there's still stuff you don't know_

like what

_my_ _parents_

point. gilbert was upset when u left

_why_

he likes u

_I know_

he was gonna ask u out

_I know_

would you have said yes

Kiku looked at the message for several moments.

_maybe_

he yelled at me when u left. he said we shouldnt have been arguing about it

_he was right. btw who's bella_

my sister. she dated gilbert

_what did he do_

somethin stupid

_why didn't you want me to ask him out_

hes a douchebag

_i know. he used to be an asshole to me_

really

_yeah from like 8th grade to recently_

hes texting me now. he wants ur number. should i give it to him

_I don't really care_

k

i did

_alright then._

so whats up

_just reading_

cool

Kiku didn't really have a response. He glanced at the clock. It was around seven o'clock. He opened his phone again.

_I g2g. see you at school_

k

With that, Kiku shut his phone and returned to his book. It was only a few minutes, however, before his phone was buzzing again. He sighed annoyedly and put down his book.

_**Hey its gilbert**_

_hi_

**_Whats up_**

_nothing_

_**R u angry at me**_

_no why_

_**Able said you called me an asshole**_

_you were_

**_Am I still lol_**

_a little_

**_I'm sorry about abel he started it_  
**

_i don't care_

_**About abel or the arguement lol**_

_idk_

_abel said you were angry when i left_

**_Not angry but a little sad lol_**

_why_

**_I wanted to ask u_**_ **something **_

_yeah abel told me that _

_**Hes a dick**_

_..._

**_What_**

_i think he's nice_

**_U don't know him_**

_he's better then you were_

_**Whatever**_

_**Do u hate me**_

Kiku had to think about that for a few moments.

_not anymore_

_**Good**_

_what would you do if I did_

_**Talk to you more I guess lol**_

_i'd be scared i think_

**_I'm not scary_ _lol_**

_i was scared of you_

There was no reply for a full five minutes. Kiku had just put his phone back on his nightstand and picked up his book again when there was another buzz.

_**R u doing stuff tomorrow**_

_prolly not_

_**Meet me at the gas station at 1ish k**_

_why_

_**It'll be fun**_

_why_

There was no answer. Kiku waited ten minutes, before finally putting down his phone. He glanced at the clock as he did so, the neon green letters showing that it was 8:01. It was early, but Kiku was... drained. He stretched and got up to put on his pajamas. Well, he hadn't agreed to do anything with Gilbert...

Though, he might do it anyways.

* * *

**I just now learned that FF has these line break things and it is incredibly awesome. Anyways, I hope that the texting didn't annoy anyone! It's a little difficult to get personalities and feelings through when you're doing texts messages, but I did what I could. **

**As an aside, Gilbert is the only one to capitalize the beginning of his sentences because he has a smart phone that does it automatically. That's also the only reason he puts apostrophes in his contractions. **

**This chapter was originally going to include half a date scene, but it would have ended on a cliff hanger and I don't want to do that too often. **

**So if you notice any mistakes, or if you were deeply annoyed by the texts and feel the need to inform me of it, or you just want to suggest something, please reveiw! It's the only way the story (and my writing...) will improve!**


	8. In the Forest

**All texts are the same as last chapter.**

* * *

It was 12:50. Kiku looked from the clock to where his shoes sat on his bedroom floor. He had changed his mind at least twelve times over the course of the day, and even now, he was unsure whether or not to meet up with Gilbert.

It was 12:52. On one hand, gilbert seemed genuine, almost surreally so. On the other, Abel seemed to disagree with that idea, and Abel had never mocked him, or stood by while Kiku got his face beat in. Or at least, Able checked up on him afterwards. Of course, Gilbert seemed to think of the locker room as his way of "checking up" on Kiku.

And that brought up the issue of the locker rooms. Gilbert didn't seem to think much of it. He seemed to regard it as something that had come and gone- a minor event. So really, being alone with Gilbert seemed like a bad idea.

Even to itself, it seemed like Kiku was making excuses to not go. He glanced at his phone. It was 12:55. He groaned and flopped down on his bed. His phone buzzed.

**_U comin?_**

Kiku stared at the ceiling. Another minute passed.

_yeah I might be a little late though _

He slipped on his shoes and out of his bedroom. Keeping Gilbert waiting too long would be rude.

* * *

Kiku found Gilbert leaning against the vending machines, tapping his fingers on the glassy surface and looking around. He looked over, grinning when he saw Kiku. Kiku could think of nothing to say as he approached, a problem he found unfortunately common. Words had never been his strong point, after all. Thankfully, Gilbert took care of the problem by speaking first.

"I'm glad you came! Look, there's this really awesome place I wanted to show you, and-" Gilbert grabbed Kiku by the hand, pulling him along as the albino set off. It was all Kiku could do to follow along, lest he stumble and fall on his face.

"It's sort of a long walk, but don't worry, it's really awesome!"

Kiku finally pulled his hand from Gilbert's, stopping. They were on a country road, the town a lump on the horizon. He shook his head, his words seemingly finding him again.

"Wait, wait. A week ago, I don't think you would have been seen with me on threat of death. Now, you're acting like..." Well, he didn't want to say, "like a schoolgirl," but...

Gilbert shrugged. "Well, it's like you said last time we were at the gas station. No one will say anything, 'cause of my dad, y'know?"

Kiku could honestly say that no, he didn't know anything about that, especially from experience, but it didn't need to be said. Not really. "That's not... really what I wanted to discuss anyway. I... You said it was a long walk, right? So..."

Gilbert nodded, grinning down at Kiku. Kiku was honestly a little loathe to admit it, but Gilbert's grin was endearing. Kiku rather liked it.

"Yeah, yeah. Walk and talk, right?" Gilbert set off again, this time with Kiku beside him.

Kiku hummed in agreement. However, as he thought about the topic soon to be at hand, his slight good mood faded. "We, ah... I think we need to talk about the locker room."

Gilbert looked back over. "I thought we already did?"

Kiku shook his head. "No... Well, yes and no. I mean, we talked about it, but we never... discussed it. I mean, I get the feeling that..." He looked back at Gilbert. He looked vaguely confused, and sort of worried. Kiku looked back down and sighed. "You know what? Never mind. It can wait."

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

Kiku nodded. "Yeah. It's fine."

Gilbert seemed to accept this, and they continued to walk in comfortable silence.

* * *

Kiku stood in front of the forest, both eyebrows raised. It was sort of crammed between the fields, But it looked to be as big as one of the fields themselves. The tree's stood tall, defying the rest of the flat landscape. The road they were standing on was entirely dirt, and even the fields looked like they hadn't been used in a few years.

It was incredible.

"Awesome, right?" Gilbert had that weirdly endearing grin on again.

Kiku nodded. "How did you find this place...?" He asked, a little breathlessly. He didn't know that this place even used to be forested. This was...

Gilbert shrugged. "I dunno. I was just kinda wandering around when I found it."

They stared for a few more moments. Well, Kiku stared. Gilbert's grin just grew wider.

"You wanna go explore, or are you just gonna look all day? I know where a couple clearings and stuff are..."

Kiku nodded, his lips twitching upward despite himself. And to think he was trying to talk himself out of this...

Gilbert took his hand, more gently than last time, and they walked into the forest. They didn't need to walk for very long, though there was quite a bit of clambering over logs, and one instance of hopping over a tiny spring. They stepped out into a clearing, died a brilliant green by the light filtering through the budding leaves above them. Gilbert plopped down against a particularly large tree, motioning for Kiku to join him.

Kiku did so, leaning against the bark of the old tree and just... taking it all in. Gilbert's hand nudged his. he looked over, to see a strange look on his face. Gilbert laughed a little, his face splitting into a smile. Not a grin, endearing or no, but a real smile.

It looked really nice. It made him think of why he had a crush on Gilbert in the first place. But now... it was real. Everything was so much more real, here and now, and it was almost overwhelming.

Almost.

Gilbert's hand mover to cover his. Once again, Kiku's lips twitched into a tiny smile, and Gilbert's only grew happier.

"You have a nice smile."

Kiku blushed to the tip of his ears. "So do you," he mumbled. "And a nice grin. They're... different. But..."

Gilbert just looked back into the seemingly never-ending forest. "Thanks."

They sat in companionable silence for a few more minutes, before Kiku finally spoke. "So is this like... Are we... You know... dating? Are we...?"

Gilbert considered this for a moment, before nodding sharply. "Yeah. Yeah, we are now." The words hung in the air like mist for a moment, before Gilbert turned and kissed Kiku.

* * *

**Hey look a thing. So, for ten minutes there was an apology up because I thought I wasn't going to get this done on time, but I drank some concrete and hardened the fuck up and finished it. Aww look isn't it adorable I think my teeth are rotting even as I look at it.**

**Reviews make the world go round, and also improve this story.**


	9. Everyone Ruins the Mood

Kiku just sat still, stunned. After a few seconds, Gilbert pulled away, looking at Kiku... expectantly? Kiku did not know what to make of the expression of Gilbert's face. Kiku's lips twitched into a small, barely noticeable smile.

"That was..." Kiku trailed off. He couldn't imagine that Gilbert would be surprised by the fact, but it didn't change anything, or make it less important in Kiku's eyes.

Gilbert laughed, quiet and honest. "I've never kissed a guy before either." Kiku nodded into the silence, wanting to move closer but unsure how. He looked away, aiming his gaze at the soft loamy forest floor, a blush spreading across his face. Gilbert, seemingly taking the hint, pulled Kiku closer, kissing him again. After a few awkward moments, courtesy of the couple's height difference, Kiku pulled away, moving to straddle Gilbert. He pressed his hands against the bark of the tree, allowing his mouth to slip open and deepen the kiss.

Gilbert responded with enthusiasm, nipping lightly at Kiku lips before slipping his tongue into the Asian's mouth. Kiku did what he could to reprociate, inexpertly moving his tongue against Gilbert's. Gilbert's movements were gentle, something Kiku had come to anticipate despite the German's rough demeanor. But everyone has to breath sometime, and after a few more moments, Kiku pulled away. Gilbert just leaned up, cupping Kiku's cheek with one hand and kissing sloppily down Kiku's jaw on the opposite side. He stopped at the crook of Kiku's neck, sucking and nipping at the skin. But kiku pulled away, remorse and some slight worry coloring his features.

"You can't leave a mark. Not where people can see." Gilbert looked more that a bit put out by this, almost pouting, but he did nod. He leaned back against the tree, pulling Kiku along to rest against his chest. Kiku flipped over, allowing himself to rest comfortably in Gilbert's lap. he closed his eyes for a moment, just listening to Gilbert's heartbeat and taking in the surreality of it all. If someone told him two years ago that he would have kissed Gilbert Weillschmidt, and that Gilbert would not have been angry, but have _initiated_ the whole thing, he would have thought them insane. But here he was, in a forest in the middle of farmlands, in his bully's lap.

Gilbert wrapped his arms loosely around Kikus waist. "...So how was that?" Kiku thought for a moment. "Sort of weird, actually." Gilbert laughed, and Kiku could feel the vibration of Gilbert's chest against his back. "And by weird, you mean awesome." "...Sure."

Another comfortable silence arose, and Kiku was unwilling to break it. He tilted his head back, so that it rested against Gilbert's sternum. He smelled like sunscreen and cheap body spray, the kind that came in cans and had gaudy, overly sexual advertising. The combination should not worked nearly as well as it did, but Kiku was not about to question it. Maybe he would later, when he was home and free to overanalyze this moment, to worry at himself, to mistrust his own judgement, but that was later. Maybe now that he had people to talk to, he wouldn't second guess all his decisions. Maybe.

Gilbert shifted against the tree. Kiku wondered what he was thinking about, if he was second guessing himself too. Gilbert spoke before he could wonder any longer, however.

"You know, you've never said anything about your family." Kiku blinked. Gilbert... oh. Of course he wouldn't know. They hadn't exactly talked a lot. He shrugged, knowing that Gilbert could feel it. "I don't really think that there's much to say."

"There must be something. I mean, you are interracial and stuff." Kiku twisted around a bit to look at Gilbert, trying to figure out if he was joking. But no, Gilbert seemed as entirely earnest in this as he was in everything else. "...No I'm not. Charlie isn't my dad."

Gilbert at least had the decency to look embarrassed. "Oh! Uhh... sorry. I..." He paused seeming struggling to recover. "Geez. I really thought... Sorry." Kiku turned back around, shrugging again. "It's alright. You didn't know."

This time, the lull was awkward, at least for Gilbert. Kiku had long since accepted silence as part of his daily life. It was only a few moments, however, until Gilbert spoke again.

"So, who is your dad then?"

Kiku took a deep breath. He knew that the question had been coming, but that didn't make it any less uncomfortable. "It's sort of a long story."

"We have time." Gilbert was going to push it then. Kiku bit his lip. Gilbert had no reason to turn against Kiku now, not when they had come so far. He had the texts, he could prove that Gilbert had initiated the date. He certainly wasn't beat up enough that Gilbert could say that it was a trap. But what if that came later?

Well, it wasn't like it would make the bullying worse. Abel didn't seem the type to care, and Kiku had long since become desensitized to the notes. Harassing his family wouldn't bring anything but punishment to the harassers- in school taunts and violence were one thing, but Kiku couldn't imagine that anyone would allow actual vandalism or anything of the like.

No, it was safe to tell Gilbert. But... "I... I would rather you not tell this to anyone else. Please."

Kiku could practically sense the look of confusion on Gilbert's face. "What, is he a drug dealer or something?" "Not anymore, no."

Gilbert froze, whatever else he was going to say dying in his throat. "Oh." Kiku nodded. "It's... not a story I particularly like to tell."

Now Gilbert nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense." There was a stretch of silence, before Gilbert continued. "I... I could tell you about my mom. I mean, since I dragged up your dad and all. Fair's fair, right?"

It was an unexpected development, but Kiku welcomed the distraction. "You don't have to, if you don't want to."

"Nah, you'd find out eventually anyways." Gilbert's tone was forcibly light, but Kiku did not stop him. It seemed to Kiku like Gilbert wanted to get it off his chest. Then again, Kiku wasn't the best at reading people.

"I don't know if it's as bad as your dad, though. She left when I was real little. Right after Ludwig was born... I dunno why. I never asked my dad or anything. Sometimes I wonder though, y'know? Like, if she didn't like us. I don't remember her much, though, so I dunno." Kiku nodded sympathetically, wishing he was better with words. He wasn't sure if Gilbert was even looking for any sort of comfort, but he wanted to offer some. He was, however, lost. Gilbert continued, cutting off whatever it was Kiku was going to try to say.

"It used to really bother me, though, when I was younger. It doesn't as much now." He paused, seeming far away. "I wish I knew her."

Kiku grasped Gilbert's hand, entirely unsure how else to respond. Gilbert hugged him a bit tighter, and Kiku let him. His phone began to buzz in his pocket, and he ignored it. It was, unfortunately, continuous, and Gilbert mumbled, "You should get that. Could be important." Kiku looked up at Gilbert, concerned about the sudden change in tone, before reluctantly answering the phone.

"Hello?" "Kiku! It's your dad. I was just calling to say that I figured out a date for you to meet Chun Yan and her family- would next Saturday work?" Kiku looked back at Gilbert, who seemed lost in thought. "Uhm, yeah. That'll work, I think." Kiku replied, wondering vaguely if his mother knew about this. "Great! I'll call you later with all the details." Kiku began to chew on his lip. Well, at least Gilbert wasn't really paying attention. Explaining why he was talking with his former drug dealer dad wouldn't exactly help the mood. "Yeah, that sounds good. I, uhm, I have to go. I'm sorry, I'll get back to you." "Alright! Bye, Kiku!" "Bye..."

Kiku hung up the phone, shoving it into his pocket and turning back to Gilbert. "Sorry about that. It was..." Gilbert blinked, roused from his reverie, and forced a grin. "It's fine. I sort of ruined the mood anyway." Kiku shook his head. "That's temporary. We have the rest of the day, right?" He turned himself around fully, so that he was sitting across from Gilbert. "Anyway, you never told me about your current family. And I never told you about mine. We must have stories, right?"

Gilbert thought for a moment, before his grin relaxed into a smile. "Just out of curiosity, did you ever meet Mr. Hohenzollern?"

* * *

**Google tells me that Frederick the Great was born into House Hohenzollern, so I'm just using that as his last name. Also, this town has a high amount of German immigrants, apparently. **

**Alright so as I write this it is almost two in the morning so there is a good chance that little of this makes sense. So, feel free to rip it apart and that. Also plot insertion at the end and it is the most awkward**

**My blood is caffeine right now. Also, I have a tumblr and stuff so if you have a tumblr feel free to follow me and/or mock me incessantly. If you put in a nice ask, I will even try to make you a little drabbley thing. It's at thewanderingcourier dot tumblr dot com so do with that what you will I guess.**

**Also my begging for reviews is probably annoying so I'll try to tone it down but I never really know how I'm doing unless people reveiw so ok. **

**alright now everyone go out and watch Monsters University because it is great and I'll just stop here before I embarrass myself further **


	10. In Which Abel Hates Love (and has Fun)

The two talked for hours after that, about everything. Admittedly, Gilbert did most of the talking, but Kiku didn't mind and Gilbert didn't seem too either. Even if Kiku desperately avoided talking about his dad, and Gilbert was equally hesitant to talk about his mom or any of his extended family, the two seemed to fit together in a way Kiku had never even considered.

It was one of the best days Kiku had since moving to that town.

But eventually it was evening, and they both had to go home. They held hands as they walked back to town, and Kiku was happy, even if Gilbert pulled his hand away once they got near the town center.

* * *

Thankfully, Kiku did not miss dinner. He would have felt tremendously bad if he did, especially now. The meal was nothing groundbreaking- baked chicken, creamed corn, and green beans- but Kiku enjoyed it.

Halfway through the meal, Kiku felt the need to speak up. His mother had not yet said anything about this Saturday, and Kiku was loathe to go behind his mother's back, even unknowingly.

"Uhm..." He started, picking nervously at his corn. Upon seeing that he had his mother's attention, he continued, "...My dad called today. He said that he wanted me to meet his wife and her family on Saturday. Is that...?" His mother nodded. "He called us too. It's fine." Kiku nodded back, looking back down and contemplating his food. Silence fell again at the table.

It was a few minutes before Charlie spoke up. "Kiku?" The boy looked up from dissecting his chicken. "You did good, making sure we knew." Kiku blinked, startled, as Charlie went back to eating. After another second of surprised silence, Kiku did the same.

* * *

Kiku did not think Sunday would bring much of anything new. He figured that it would be the same as past years- he would do his homework, which would lead to thoughts of school, which would lead to worrying about what would happen in the coming weeks.

But as he scribbled down another equation for pre-calculus, a thought struck him, This week would be at least a little different. For one, Gilbert had dropped all pretenses of aggression entirely, but more importantly, Abel would be there. And while Kiku did not expect Gilbert to open affectionate, at least, not in public, Abel was an entirely unknown variable.

He paused, chewing on the end of his mechanical pencil. Kiku had not seen much of Abel outside of Friday. But thinking about it, he was acquaintances with Gilbert, and he seemed pretty athletic. He would make friends fast. He'd be pretty popular, even.

Kiku sighed a little to himself. So really, school wouldn't be much different at all. He smiled wearily, scribbling down the work for the next problem. That was alright, really. He still had a support system outside of school. That was what really mattered. That was enough.

Really, he was okay.

* * *

Life was, however, full of surprises. This was the first thing Kiku thought as Abel appeared next to Kiku's locker. Evidently, Kik had not been able to hide his surprise as, as Abel raised an eyebrow. "What's with that look?"

Kiku shrugged, setting his bag down and forcing his face back into a neutral expression. "...Just not really used to people talking to me a school, is all."

Now it was Abel's turn to look surprised. "Really? What about Gilbert?" Kiku shrugged, spinning the dial of his locker. "Everything with him is a pretty recent development." He _tsked_ as he open his locker, accidentally letting the usual notes fall to the ground. He knelt to pick them up, again surprised to see Abel helping. "In case you can't tell, I'm not the most popular guy around." Abel snorted. "And here I was, thinking you got invited to all the parties around here." He paused for a moment. "All two of them."

Abel shook his head as he looked at a note. "...Really though, don't worry about it." He looked around. "Man, Gilbert doesn't even hang out with you in the mornings? What an asshat." Kiku huffed a little in what might have been laughter as he stuffed the notes in his pocket. "I don't blame him. He's looking out for himself and his brother."

Abel considered this for a moment. "Still a shitty boyfriend, though."

Kiku looked up from the books he was now putting away. "You know about that?" "Yeah, should I not?" Kiku shook his head as he pulled out his first and second period books. "I just thought you might be... I dunno. Upset, I guess."

The corners of Abel's mouth twitched upward in what Kiku supposed could have been a smile. He leaned against a wall. "Ehh. I probably will be, once I think about it more." His smile grew, though what he was grinning about, Kiku had no clue. But after only another moment, his smile faded away. "Why did you think I wouldn't talk to you in school?"

Kiku gathered his book into his arms and shut his locker, looking specifically not at Abel. "Well, I figured that since you were sort of friends with Gilbert, and you seem pretty athletic, so you'd make friends really fast and probably be popular and really no one would talk to you if you talked to me, and besides-"

Abel snorted again, cutting Kiku's flustered speech off. "You think too much." He rolled his shoulders and ruffled Kiku's hair, looking at a wall clock. "I gotta get to my locker. See ya around."

Kiku just stared at Abel's retreating back and wondered what the hell had just happened.

* * *

The rest of the week passed without major incident, with Abel continuing to talk with Kiku in the hallways (much to Kiku's comfort, though he would never admit it). However, Abel had also apparently found a new source of amusement: determinedly ruining any sort of moments that might have formed between Gilbert and Kiku in the locker room.

While Kiku didn't mind the interruptions, as Abel did usually leave them be after he had his fun and was rather creative in his methods, Kiku could tell that Gilbert was displeased.

Today, Friday, had apparently been particularly bad for Gilbert. The albino huffed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "He's such a douche! Why do you even talk with him?"

Kiku shrugged. "He's nice, really. He just has a weird sense of humor." Gilbert shook his head. "I know Abel. He's a douchcanoe."

Kiku cast a side glance at Gilbert. "He's never been anything but nice to me. What about him makes him so bad?" Gilbert grimaced. "Well, he punched me in the face, for one. Two, he won't leave us alone ever. Three, he's just an ass." "He's said the same thing about you. The last one, I mean." There was a pregnant pause. "...When did he punch you in the face?" "Long story. I don't wanna talk about it." They continued to walk in silence after that, soon coming the point where they had to go separate ways.

Kiku hesitated as Gilbert turned to leave. He looked around, and when he was satisfied that there was no one there, he called out. "...Gilbert?" The albino turned around. He looked like he might still be a little angry, and Kiku considered just leaving. But... "There's no one here, so before you go..." Another moment of hesitation. "Can we at least...?"

But it seemed Gilbert did get the message, closing the distance between then and pulling Kiku into a hug. Kiku closed his eyes for a moment, savoring the feel and returning the hug. Gilbert kissed the top oh his head, mumbling something.

Kiku couldn't understand a word of it, but he didn't mind.

* * *

Kiku woke up saturday to the buzzing of his phone. He rolled over, propping himself up on one elbow and blinking wearily as he flipped it open and answered. "Hullo?"

"Hey Kiku! It's your dad. I was just calling to tell you that I'll be picking you up at about eleven, alright?" Kiku nodded, before remembering that he was on the phone. "Yeah, that's fine. Bye." "Alright! Bye!" Kiku hung up, putting the phone down and wondering how anyone could be that enthusiastic at six in the morning on a Saturday. He lay back down and shut his eyes, but he found that he could not get back to sleep.

Well, at least he got some sleep. Kiku stretched, sitting up and pushing the covers off. He sighed, looking at the clock again. It was going to be a long time until eleven...

* * *

But eventually, eleven o'clock did roll around. Kiku slipped on his sneakers, standing up and double checking that he had his phone and wallet. Satisfied, he started downstairs just as the doorbell rang. Kiku rounded the corner to see his father speaking with Charlie, though Kiku couldn't make out what they were saying.

His father grinned the moment he saw Kiku. "Hey there Kiku! Ready to go?" Kiku nodded, walking to the door. Charlie looked perturbed, and Kiku did not want to ask why. He already had a feeling that today would be... interesting. His father clapped him on the shoulder before he could say anything to Charlie, however. "We should be back around ten. Don't worry, I'll call you if we'll be late!"

There was unmistakably a look that passed between Charlie and Kiku's dad, but what it meant Kiku could not say. His father flashed another grin, pulling Kiku out of the doorway and shutting the door behind him before Charlie even had the chance to say anything. Haruki immediately began chattering on about what they would be doing that day, though one point in particular caught Kiku's interest as the got in the car.

"So I won't be with you most of the day?" He father shook his head as he started the car. "Nope! It's alright though, Chun Yan has a boy your age, and another a bit older. There are two little ones, but they'll be with us, so don't worry too much." Kiku nodded, looking out the window. This really would be an interesting day...

* * *

**AN: If Abel was a mutant his superpower would be not giving a fuck**

**It would also be being perpetually high as a kite**

**I'm not saying he's high during the third section of this chapter but you know the option's there**

**Man I really hope I don't have to change the rating for this story because of the author's note.**

**But anyway I don't really like this chapter. It was supposed to be just meeting the stepfamily but then I sat down to write it and the characters forced me to carry through on the implications that the last chapter held, such as their reactions to events and their thoughts on the changing structure of their status quo. But that also means I get to write more Netherlands and he is easily my favorite character to write, so I suppose it's okay. This might feel like filler, but I didn't mean to do that and I really should have been doing my summer homework instead so there you go.**

**Show of hands, how many of you forgot Kiku's dad's name? I know I sure did**

**If you want to throw rocks at me (or alternatively throw cakes at me) feel free to do so in a review, as constructive criticism through violence is a good way to see this story get better.**


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